4 Reasons Why You Haven’t Found a Fuckbuddy Yet

 

Struggling with finding local hot girls to hook up with may seem like a bunch of bullshit the sidebar ads on porn sites try to shove down your throat but in reality; you could be fucking girls in a 20-mile radius starting whenever you want. Just make sure you’re not making these mistakes.

  1. You Don’t Use Dating Apps

    If you don’t use dating apps, what the fuck are you doing? In the year 2018 dating apps are taking the casual sex world by storm. If you want to get laid, you NEED to create some kind of dating profile before you die alone in a one bedroom apartment.

    Get Tinder or Bumble or whatever you want. Try them all if you have to, but for heaven’s sake, make a fucking move. Just open up the app store and browse to your heart’s content. Even if you’re not the best looking guy, you can still find girls who want to fuck on those apps.  But you will have even better luck on dedicated fuckbuddy matching sites like MeetBang I promise you.

     

  2. You’re Out of Your League

    I’m sorry, but we all have to come to terms with what we are. Obviously there’s always the chance to improve your appearance, but for now, you need to find girls in your league. Denying every single girl unless she’s Instagram model tier of hotness isn’t the best way to do it.

    Even if you don’t want to fuck these girls, it’ll do you well just to talk to them. Having girls chase after you can be a huge confidence booster in general. I know I have a bit more of a spring in my step whenever I have a lot of Tinder matches stacked up, even if they’re not total babes.

     

  3. You’re Being Too Pushy

    Most girls like to be pursued just like most men do. However, If you’re too aggressive right away with these girls; they’re not going to want to talk to you.

    If you’re at the point where you’re actually getting mad at girls for rejecting you and being rude in retaliation, you need to take a step back and remember that not everyone wants to sleep with you and some girls are just plain rude. That’s OK though. Just be patient and try to relax and have fun.

    If you’re having trouble making the first message worth their while then I suggest you try Bumble. Bumble lets you match with hotties, but in order to have a conversation with these girls, they have to message you first. This allows girls to make the first move and basically say “I’m interested in hanging out with you” without saying much at all. Not many signals to read up on here.

  4. Your Pictures Suck

    There’s no shame in being ugly. I’m ugly and I still pull b-a-b-e-s on dating apps on the regular. Poor looks are no excuse for having shitty pictures. Please god, no more bathroom selfies.

    Try to take pictures from your camera roll that show off how social you are. Maybe post a picture of you at a party, but whatever you do, just make sure you’re looking your personal best.

    You’ll always get extra points for posting a picture of yourself with a dog. Any dog. It’s a good conversation starter, plus puppies are adorable so fuck it, why not?

The Worst things about living in a college town:

Well, as much as I’d hate to start this blog off on a bad note… here I go (I’ve never been much of a sunny person to begin with, I’m more of a #SadBoy. So this post is pretty on brand).

The past few weeks have been a little bit of a nightmare. I now understand why they say that when it rains it pours… because it sure does pour. I’m finally out of the dorms this year, I know that this should be cause for celebration… however I’ve managed to land myself the worst possible roommate. For privacy’s sake, let’s call her Terrible Tina (TT). In a college town you have to sign a lease literally a year in advance – some of you may be familiar with this especially if there’s a particularly desirable area to live in your college town. I hadn’t really gotten to know TT for the amount of time that one would consider appropriate before signing a lease together. All my other friends had paired up and found houses around town… and here I am, high and dry and left with one option: TT. Who, might I add, didn’t start showing her terrible side until more recently.

The girl is just… weird. Her good qualities seem like they’d be great and then they just get too intense or take a turn for the worst. For example, she’s a vegetarian (like me! woo!) but she’s a terrible one. She doesn’t eat anything that has any remotely good health benefits. Her diet is primarily microwavable mac and cheese and instant mash potatoes… I shudder to think of how clogged her arteries are. Because she has terrible eating habits she gave herself some sort of stomach disease. And not in the way you might think… During her freshman year (and what must have been her first time exposed to hard liquor) she managed too drink so much vodka it basically sterilized the inside of her stomach… which isn’t good when you consider that your stomach is an ecosystem of good bacteria and flora. She basically wasn’t eating enough to put enough of a barrier between her stomach and the liquor. So her trips to the one bathroom in the apartment are long, complicated, and often interrupt my morning routine.

On top of the girl in the room next door being a total nightmare, it seems that all of our neighbors either never sleep or just can’t without the sweet sound of blaring EDM every single weeknight. I get tired after 15 minutes at a party, I have no idea how someone could willingly listen to that kind of music much less at two in the morning on a Tuesday. Plus, I think that one of the people I live adjacent to was straight up throwing another person around the apartment… so I hid in the bathroom and called the police out of pure fear that I was next (it probably doesn’t help that I’ve been spending a lot of time watching Law and Order SVU late at night…)

All in all, it’s been a rough first week at this apartment. Hopefully, things will improve!